SO LITTLE TO DO SO MUCH TIME!! WAIT REVERSE THAT

I know I haven't been keeping up on my writing and I should because there is a ton of stuff going on and it's so hard to keep it all bottled up!!! My trip to Panama this summer was pretty intense, not like Trinidad but it is classified in its own way!!! I intense, not like Trinidad but it is classified in its own way!!! I met some pretty amazing men and women of God and it really had me thinking about where I'm supposed to be and where God is putting me in the future!! So many times we are so impatient and we want everything right now, but that's not how God works!! It was the night before I was supposed to leave for CBC and my mom told me she couldn't drive out with me to CBC and I didn't have a problem with that, but I was just keeping everything bottled in and it was ready to explode. My dad and I were loading my car and everything was just not fitting and I had a melt down. I was so stressed, I didn't know if I was going to have enough for one semester, two, whole year, two years, or four years and I had reached my breaking point!!! 

I thought I had my whole life figured out but there was a monkey wrench throw into my plans!! Needless to say I decide that the best thing for me was to spend this semester at home taking online classes which is sooo hard but you just have to stay determined which I have been trying so hard to do. Anyway, the other night I was talking to my mom and I told her I was planning on spending the summer with my Nona and Poppy in NH and that way it would give me time to think about if I really wanted to transfer or not!! And she reminded me of Panama and how I really wanted to go back! She talked about some stuff that I never told her and she really felt that she was supposed to tell me that I was supposed to go back! So now I'm at a crossroads again in my life on whether I go or whether I stay here in the States. It would be for 5 months but I know the Lord would have bigger plans for me there!! I'm putting in my application for YWAM this week and if it's where I'm supposed to be then God will make a way. But she said I could always pick up a couple of credits here and there if I really wanted to, but I don't know what I'm supposed to do!! I just have to pray a lot and really make a decision about it and stick to it and not doubt!!