Let's take that road before...

I have been doing a lot of think lately and right now I finally feel like my life is back to normal, or what seems like normal in comparison to the hectic life I've been having recently!! I just couldn't get my life to settle down and this past week has been a real humbling experience!!! I have just been really struggling with a ton of stuff and then on top of it there was school work that I was doing from like 5-12 each night because I worked from 8-4, I didn't have time for my family or friends and I was hearing about it!!! I have no money until Friday when I get paid and I was trying to scrap up some change for gas money, which the only people who didn't mind to get change was the Hess at the Yocumtown exit!!! On Saturday I had to work from 8-4 and my gas light was blinking on the way up to work. All I could do was pray and I just layed it all out before God and I just prayed that He would just get me to work and then I could call mom and see if she could run me up a couple more dollars. You have to understand that I have a 1986 Chevy Cavalier and it is a gas hog in every way!!! That is besides the point! I called my mom's cell and of course it had died and so I left a message for her, which she never got until today!! So the whole way home I just prayed that God would give me enough gas to get home and I just sang worship songs all the way home. God provide as usual!! 

So to say the least I have been humbled!! I don't know but sometimes I, and I think everyone has these moments, but I just need to be humbled! I hate that it takes something so extreme for me, and that's always something I've struggled with! I just start doubting and I just suffer more and more each time it happens!! It takes that much more to get back to where I was... It hurts and I'm so tired of it and I know that I can't do that in the missions field because the devil will take full advantage of that and I'm just hoping that CBC will teach me and prove to me that there is no reason to doubt! I mean I know there is no reason to but I just hope it teaches me to just be so much stronger and I'm pretty sure it will!! But for right now it's just hard being home and all knowing that I'm not supposed to be home, but I know this was where I was supposed to be!! I just can't wait for January!! And it can't get here soon enough...